Wednesday, July 31, 2013

TO THE WONDERFUL BOY

Here I am waiting again. 

The ever-so-ordinary Palma Hall is buzzing with flocks of students pacing back and forth, crossing halls echoing with laughter and senseless chatter. Sunlight enters the windows, casting a radiant glow on the building's old interior. I sit cozily on my spot near the window waiting for two people—Sam and you. 

Sometimes, I can't help but feel so stupid. Feel so stupid for believing. Feel so stupid for trusting in that little thing called serendipity. Feel so stupid for relying on fate and what was written on the stars. Sometimes I feel so illogical for wanting to be friends with someone who's never gonna come, with someone who's never going to read every letter, every entry, every word in this minuscule blog. Someone who's never going to know my story. Someone who's never going to know how I waited this long.

Someone who's never going realize that sometimes, I DO want to be more than friends.

Serendipity is such a bitch. It plants you in a moment that will change your life forever, yet after it does it will never give you room to grow. It will trap you. It will cage you in a flux of thoughts, anxieties and worries and will keep you wondering if there is another chance, if it can give you another moment that might finally lead to that one thing you've been waiting for. 

All that I've ever wanted was for those love songs and paperback novels to make sense. 

Is that bad? Is that too much to ask? 

Quickly, I wipe the tears forming on the corners of my eyes. I punch my gut mentally, telling myself to stay strong and not cry about these petty matters. I look outside and find myself drowning in a sea of thoughts—thoughts of you, thoughts of me and thoughts about what I would write tonight. Once again, the Palma Hall is muted and there is only me in my world, in my head, drifting as waves crash into my struggling form and push me down, down, into the deep. I surface and inhale what little oxygen enters my lungs, but something is dragging me to the bottom. Something is forcing me to lose it, to stop holding on. 

Something is telling me to give you up. 

I stand up, slowly walking, eyes fixed on a single point straight ahead. Palma Hall transforms into an ordered chaos of black and white, and my heart sinks on the granite floors and shatters. 

Then he walks to me, his phone in his hand and waves. He waves and says hello, and everything seems to be okay. His black-brown eyes assures me everything will be okay. 

Then he sees the tears. He sees it and his pace quickens. He slides his phone into his pocket, and the expression on his face turns grim. The second hand reaches twelve, and I fall into his arms. I fall into his arms, and I know I am saved.

I know I am safe. 

I know that he is here. 

I know he will understand. 

I look up, and he locks his gaze with mine. Without the need for words, he asks me what was wrong. And I tell him that I'm tired. I tell him that I can't put up with this fantasy anymore. 

I tell him the truth. 

"He's never gonna come." 


Saturday, July 27, 2013

YOUR ACADEMIC DOSE OF 'THE HUNGER GAMES' 
 


"There's twenty-four of us, Gale. Only one comes out." Jennifer Lawrence, who portrays the dystopian heroine Katniss Everdeen from the novel-turned-movie 'The Hunger Games', gives us a foreshadowing of the Capitol's  idea of entertainment as she volunteers to take her sister's place in what becomes a bloodbath for the whole Panem to see. Like the Capitol's brutal game, the UPCAT weeds out victors in a 5-hour long test which is comprised of language proficiency, reading comprehension, mathematics, science and quick essay. Out of the 75,000 students that apply every year, only 16% of these students get admitted to the university. Each university has a different UPG (University Predicted Grade) with UP Diliman having 2.2 for its cut off and UP Manila ranging from 2.285-2.5. As for the other sister campuses, UP Los BaƱos accepts students having a UPG of 2.42-2.8, UP Baguio ranging from 2.659-2.574, UP Visayas with 2.7 UPG and UP Mindanao with 2.75.  A variety of factors also affect one's admission to the university. Among these considered factors are the number of slots per course (quota course or non-quota course) and the number of students who have selected a UP branch as their first priority. Also, students from public schools and minority groups are given priority over students coming from private schools as UP draws 30% of its yearly qualified population from these two sectors. 

But how do aspiring Iskos, Iskas, Iskays and Iskianas ace the most competitive and intellectually challenging entrance exam in the entire country? Here are a few tips on how to wing your academic dose of "The Hunger Games":

1. Be prepared. Train like a tribute. 

From your examination forms to your recap of academic lectures, an aspiring UP student must always be prepared. On the day before the schedule of your UPCAT, make sure you've had your pencils sharpened and your permit/other forms neatly organized in one envelope or wherever you may wish to put it. Food and drinks are also advisable since the test lasts for 5 hours. Prepare yourself for extreme weather conditions. Better yet, watch the weather forecast so that you can plan what you'll wear and what you'll bring for the following day. Beware because some testing centers have a really, really cold atmosphere (and it's not because of the tension in the air!), so bringing a jacket/sweater is advisable. 

Some students enroll in review centers over the summer or attend review sessions that are provided for free in the campus itself. However, for those who opt for a self-study method, borrowing UPCAT review books or buying your own copies of them are really helpful. Since 21st Century education is at its highest peak, credible sites and youtube channels can offer legit answer sheets and free tutorials. (This was what I did, and look at me now! Hah!)

2. Forge an alliance. Know if any friends are taking the UPCAT in the same building as you are. 


Not only does #clingy company help minimize crazy, nervous vibes, it can also come to your rescue in the event you get lost in the 5.5 hectares of the UP domain. A map should be provided to you by your guidance counselors ,  but if your application forms were not submitted through them, print out a map or download a handy image in your cellphone. This will help minimize the time you spend searching for your UPCAT testing location and save you from being late as well. 

3. Tick tock. Be on time.

As much as possible, arrive thirty minutes ahead of your UPCAT testing schedule. Being late can cause you to miss announcements and maybe even miss the chance to be in the country's premier university. Punctuality is a must in all college entrance exams as they do not consider students who are late and forfeit their chance from entering the university. 

4. Listen to your proctor's announcements

There are important announcements given by proctors before the UPCAT, so pay attention that you may be guided in the 5-hour ordeal. Also, follow his/her instructions obediently. 

5. You can leave blanks in the UPCAT. 

YES, you heard that right. This is usually announced at the beginning of the UPCAT exam. Blanks are allowed in the UPCAT, and they will not be counted in the total items of your test. For example, I left 10 blanks out of 200 items. The items that will be counted will only sum up to 190. If you are not sure of your answer (or if you do not know the answer at ALL-especially in the Science part of the test!), leave it blank. However, be warned that lessening the number of items in the test also decreases your chances of passing it because it lowers the bar for the test's passing score. Sometimes, a guess or an examination on the closest answer is most advisable. The famous 'shotgun' method, though not always reliable, can also help you get your way through. But remember, being sure and analyzing each item is the best way to pass the exam. 

6. Think twice. Double check your answers. 

This is commonly heard in examinations and tests—both CET's and not. If you have enough time to review your answers, why not take that time to be extra careful and check for mistakes in that particular portion of the test? You might realize you've skipped a number you can answer or shaded the wrong circle. Sometimes, you might even change your answer after analyzing the question for the second time. In case you are not sure of your answer for a particular item, placing an asterisk or a small dot before the number on your answer sheet should be a helpful tip. That way, you would not have trouble going back on that item. Just be sure to erase the asterisk/dot before submitting your answer sheet to the proctor. 

7.  Tick tock again. Be aware of the time.


Synchronize your watches with the proctor's time so that you may follow the exam's schedule. Never be too much in a hurry to finish the exam. This is not a race. It's a make-or-break examination that will determine your entrance in the country's top university. Work as fast as you can without neglecting careful analysis and understanding of the question. Do not spend too much time on a particular item you cannot answer. Remember that you can leave blanks or choose to go back to the item once you are done with the test. Each subject included in the UPCAT has a particular time frame and you cannot proceed to the next part if you finish early. Make sure to be all ears to your proctor when he/she gives the signal for the next subject so as not to be delayed when answering. Do not stall away out of overconfidence. Take note that once the particular portion of the exam is over, you cannot go back. Keep in mind that it's always better to finish ahead of time. 

8. FOCUS.  

 

Whether your proctor dresses funnily or the boy sitting next to you is a Filipino version of Josh Hutscherson or Alexander Ludwig, never allow yourself to be distracted. Focus on the task at hand—the UPCAT. Focus on your one-way ticket to the university almost all graduating students aim for. Focus on the 5-hour Calvary and the future it may bring to you. Never ever bring your personal problems while taking the test. They will only bring you down and make you lose your center. Do not pay attention to how hot or how cold it is. Pay attention to the answer sheet and questionnaire alone. If the person next to you is noisy or is making you uncomfortable, raise your hand and request the proctor that you be transferred to another seat. 

When distracted, a mantra is always helpful. Repeat that mantra over and over again in your head and continue answering item after item. 

9. Fear is not an option. Do not be afraid to ask questions. 

 


A UP student always asks questions. This is our trademark. This is our way of learning. Do not fear to ask questions or clarify things as learning the answers will aid you in the exam. Proctors do not eat people, and they will be more than kind enough to help you ace the UPCAT.

10. Stay alive.



Make sure you get 8-10 hours of sleep (Yes, I'm serious!), so that you can survive in the UP arena as you take the exam. Know your opponents. Target your weak spots (a.k.a subjects that you're not really good at) and try to improve on them. Hone your strengths and make use of them to your advantage. Never ever fall for the mental block. Keep calm and don't panic. Panicking can cause you to make the stupid mistake of shading the incorrect circle or answering the item too hastily. Lastly, pray to God for guidance. Remember that without Him, you would not be here taking the UPCAT and maximizing your knowledge and skills towards fulfilling your dreams. Lift it all up to Him and trust in Him. He may or may not give it to you, but whatever the outcome of your UPCAT is, He always knows what's best. 

The UPCAT is just the beginning of your UP adventure. Like Katniss when she emerged as victorious in the 74th Hunger Games, the spark in her and in Panem has just started to ignite. Life in UP is deeper than the connotation of "lower tuition fees", "terror Math 17" and  "student activists". Life in UP stirs national awakening as all those who wish to enter must be ready to take up the university's mandate which is to SERVE THE PEOPLE regardless of age, social status, religion, or political affiliation.  

Good luck, and may the odds be ever in your favor!

Friday, July 26, 2013

TO THE WONDERFUL BOY

"So how did you find me?" I ask him. "How did you read his letter?"

"Well," He leans against the crimson pillar, fixing his gaze on the ceiling. I take my time to admire the way his black-brown eyes looked to a distance as he tried to conjure up a thought, a memory that he had of me. "It was by accident, actually." He admits. "I was searching for this blog, and I misspelled its url. I stumbled upon yours and found out that you were studying in the same school as I was, and I thought maybe I should see your story." 

"Everybody has a story to tell." I say to him, smiling. 

"Exactly." He looks back at me, and I force myself to look away. As usual, my eyes scan the crowd for any sign of you. It has become my Wednesday-Friday ritual—looking for you. But now instead of a good book and headphones to keep me company, next to me is a warm, live body talking to me, keeping me company, waiting with me. 

"Do you think he's gonna come today?" 

He shrugs his shoulders and offers me a hopeful smile. I cup my chin with my hand and rub it slowly, brows furrowed. Once more, I try to look for you, aware of the passing time and thinking of the next words to keep our conversation going. I was never good at it—conversations. It was ironic how good I was with words and how bad I was with socializing. Maybe it's just me, or maybe there's this wall I'm trying to tear down but it just won't budge that easily. 

"Don't you ever get tired of it?" He asks. "Waiting for him? Hoping he's here?"

I laugh, and the sound comes off in an tune that seemed out-of-place in the Palma Hall soundtrack. "No." 

"You really do want to meet him." He says. "You really do want to be his friend." 

I look at him. There's nothing I can do but smile and nod. 

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

TO THE WONDERFUL BOY

1... 2... 3... 4...5...

1... 2... 3... 4...5...

1... 2... 3... 4...5...

Numbers. 

They're all I know now. They're all I know since I've started counting down seconds, minutes and hours lounging and pacing back and forth in what has become an 11:30 tradition. 

1... 2... 3... 4...5...

1... 2... 3... 4...5...

I keep waiting for you. My eyes look  around for a short glimpse of your glasses or anything that might be a sign that you are here, and that after weeks of waiting, you have finally read my letter. 

1... 2... 3... 4...5...

1... 2... 3... 4...5...

The ticking of the second hand becomes a rhythmic beat like breathing, and I keep walking. I keep walking and searching and praying that today I might be your friend. 

1... 2... 3... 4...5...

1... 2... 3... 4...5...

I stop. 

I sigh. 

The hours are spiraling down. 

1... 2... 3... 4...5...

1... 2... 3... 4...5...

A force crashes into me and stops my Converse-clad feet from tirelessly pacing the AS's granite floors.  Already prepared to scowl and rant, I bite back the acid-coated words from my tongue as my gaze fell upon the black-brown eyes I have hurt. 

"Sam." The name slips out accidentally before I can stop myself, and my heart flutters and my gut wrenches and a dizzy feeling starts taking over my head. 

Thump. 

Thump.

Thump.

"You remembered my name." He smirks, and I am captivated by his smile. It's nothing like yours and nowhere near yours, but the look on his face was priceless. Never have I ever seen a look filled with so much hope despite what has already been broken. Never have I ever seen someone else's eyes light up that way as if what was standing in front of them was redemption, was the most precious thing in the world.

1...2...3...4...5 

He stands before me, and I tiptoe to take a look behind him at the students prowling the Palma Hall. My eyes scan almost every corner, then I count again for the last time. 

1... 2... 3... 4...5...

The second hand hits 12. 

"Can we start all over again?"

Monday, July 22, 2013

ITO ANG ESTADO NG NASYON (SONA ng BAYAN 2013)
Ito ang estado ng nasyon
Kay rami ng pinaglalaban
Ngunit pilit na hinaharangan

Ito ang estado ng nasyon
Sama-samang nagmamartsa
Itinatayo ang banderang pula

Ito ang estado ng nasyon
Gutom at mahirap na Pilipino
Patuloy na pagtaas ng presyo

Ito ang estado ng nasyon
Murang gamot ay hindi maibili
Kalusugan, kuryente't, tubig, kanilang isinasantabi

Ito ang estado ng nasyon
Sulirani'y kawalan ng trabaho
Aquinong tuta ng Amerikano

Ito ang estado ng nasyon
Imperyalismo't pribatisasyon
Kakulangan ng badyet sa edukasyon

Ito ang estado ng nasyon
Nakakahindik na pang-aabuso
Sa pamamahayag at karapatang pantao

Ito ang estado ng nasyon
Mababang pasahod sa manggagawa
Magsasaka'y api't walang lupa

Ito ang estado ng nasyon
Pikit-mata sa bilanggong pulitikal
Isang rehimeng pasista't kolonyal

Ito ang estado ng nasyon
Walang nararamdamang pagbabago
Sa ilalim ng US-Aquino

Ito ang estado ng nasyon
Sa statistika'y wag magbulag-bulagan
Masang Pilipino, wag matakot, magkapit-bisig at lumaban

Ito ang estado ng nasyon
Isigaw at ipaalam sa buong sambayanan
Nang mata nila'y mamulat na wala ang pinangakong tuwid na daan
UP students gather at the Quezon Hall before marching to Batasan. (above: performance by UP Repertory)
 
A walking faucet to symbolize water price hike in the Aquino administration
Protesters fight against the sticks and shields of the police as they try to enter the Batasan complex

protesters push further, police exerts force

Aquino effigy presents a dining PNoy feasting on the so-called fruits of his US-based administration
Burning of the Aquino effigy
An administration in ashes
For fear of the people