TO THE WONDERFUL BOY

Palma Hall was different today. 

As I set foot on the last step of the stairs stretching out to the AS lobby, everything changed. The sunlight seeping through the tall glass windows shone a little brighter. The familiar crimson pillars stood out from the mouths of the granite floors like tree trunks holding up the dirty white ceiling. The senseless chatter of students became a melody---a cacophony of voices gossiping and talking about first classes, org plans, and thesis statements. Palma hall was indeed different. 

I settled on a corner by the window, a shaft of sunlight adding unnecessary luster to the loose strands of my hair. For a moment, I watched it turn into brown before tucking it behind my ear with a shaking hand. I looked outside, hoping that a little sunlight would do some good to my cold fingers and demented heart. 

It was Wednesday today, and today, you might be my friend. 

And so I waited. I waited for you to find me. 

I propped my book against my knees and waited, hoping that the next face that would pass by would be you. I waited and tried to focus on the words in front me, but all I could think of were the words that you’ve written---the words that you’ve written across my palm for me to read like a note of secrecy, the words that fit into the gaps of my fingers like something concrete, like something real, like something tangible. Every now and then, I would look up from the page and look down when there was no sign of you, starting again where I left off and never leaving the single word I’ve been reading for the last forty-five seconds because I’m afraid that if I don’t find you now, I may never see you again. I waited with music to keep me company, my eyes drifting through a sea of Chuck Taylors, slippers and Keds as I guessed your name and imagined the sound of your voice. I rehearsed the first words I would say to you, hoping that when you showed up, the moment would be perfect and planned because there were no second chances.

Then, I knew I couldn’t wait anymore. Hopelessness began to sink in, filling the holes of my ship with ice cold water that was waking me up from fictitious concepts and from this universe where everything was perfect and where the girl always gets the guy. My watch reminded me of wasted time, of seconds ticking down to nothing but being thrown into reality and accepting that no such universe exists, not even the parallel one. You were not meant to be my friend, and that was it. You were not meant to be more than a face I recognized, a face I remembered among thousands of others in what I believed to be a ‘small world’. 

I stood up---a stranger walking on the granite floors of Palma Hall. Today was Wednesday, and everything was the same. The senseless chatter continued, this time echoing into a blur of sounds and voices that didn’t quite blend.  The familiar crimson pillars held the ceiling as it did a hundred and five years ago---curious bystanders to the different students of various generations with their small talk and group meet-ups. The sunlight, which was now fading because of clusters of nimbus stratus, fell into normalcy. There was nothing new about today.

No new hall. No new friend. No such thing as that wonderful boy.

 

The Tau Alpha Wing welcomed me with flocks of students, snippets of lecture and boisterous laughter. I kept walking, disappointment and regret piling up like stones on my stomach. I switched my playlist to something mellow and prepared myself for a stormy weather. 

Then I felt it. 

Warm fingers circled around my wrist, the index fingertip landing above my pulse point. My heart banged wildly against my chest like a caged bird struggling to break free. 

Thump.

Thump.

Thump.

I spun around and faced a set of beautiful black-brown eyes looking back at me and a charming smile that put Makati’s city lights to shame. 

“Hi.”